*Groan*

Yes, it is 3am and I'm online. I can't sleep anymore right now. Napped during the day and am fairly uncomfortable. So I thought that I would post an update since I am finally up to sitting and walking.

First off, I am miserable. Miserable. But thankfully "miserable" is tons better than "Death warmed over", which is where I was at before.

I had the surgery to fix my hiatal hernia Wednesday and was released from the hospital Thursday afternoon. My whole torso is bumpy and swollen, it hurts every time I drink anything and just the thought of solid food makes me feel like throwing up. I'm also still suffering from all the gas they put inside me to perform the surgery, so my muscles are sore, I keep burping and passing gas (just what you wanted to know, right?), and when I feel nauseous, I don't throw up so much as dry-heave out more air.

My left hand is swollen where the IV "infiltrated" and a little further up the arm is bruised and tender from the first two unsuccessful IV's they tried to put in me. And my shoulder are sore from where the gas decided to camp out. I also feel like I have an icepack permanently attached to my body. Though at this point, that's not a bad thing.

All I can think about is that this pain must be similar to the after-effects of gastric bypass or lap band surgery. I can't imagine going through this willingly. At this point, I can't help but think that the cure is worse than the disease. I am sure that if I ever feel normal again, I will happy that I am hernia-less, though.

Anyway, about the hernia, the doctor said that the opening in my diaphragm was twice the size it should have been. Suck, huh? Also, apparently that sort of thing is genetic. My dad's dad had a hiatal hernia, so looks like that is where I got it from.

Have I posted before what they do during the surgery? First, they close up the hole in my diaphragm to the correct size, then disconnect my stomach from my spleen (there are some veins going from stomach to spleen), then they take part of the stomach and wrap it around to make like a washer so the stomach can't pull through the hole in the diaphragm again. Fun, huh? To accomplish all this, they cut me open in 5 different places around my stomach so my torso is all lumpy underneath the places. There is also swelling, particularly of the hole in my diaphragm, and that swelling restricts my esophagus meaning that I have trouble eating. It should take about 4 weeks for the swelling to totally go down.

Anyway, so I am alive, even though I might wish I were not. I hope I never have to do anything remotely as painful as this ever again.

Boring Update

Okay, it has been forever since I've updated (but I have a good reason, I swear). So here's some of the stuff that has happened in the almost four weeks since I last posted.

A Month of Goodies

• According to last week's endoscopy, I have a sliding hiatal hernia. Not sure as to the treatment yet, though they have put me on some acid reducers (hasn't helped yet but then I just started it yesterday). We will learn more details on the 12th when the results of the esophagram I had yesterday are in. (Also, I have pictures, but I really don't feel up to spending the time to get them on here right now - when I am feeling better).


• I feel like a human pincushion - I've had 5 IVs in 4 weeks. Of those 5 IVs, 4 of them included radioactive material so I should officially glow now. Oh yeah, and I drank barium yesterday. I am my own nightlight.


• I am currently on short-term disability so no work for me. Which I feel horribly guilty about, but since I can't even empty the dishwasher without having to nap and/or begging for death, it's probably the right move.


• I have learned that you can, in fact, hit your out-of-pocket max with your insurance in one month. Of course, we have good health insurance, so that out-of-pocket max is just $1,500 but still. One month? I find that impressive.


• Of course the reason I have hit the out-of-pocket max is all the things that have happened in the past month (in no particular order)... Ambulance trip to the ER, stress test, chest x-ray, blood tests, CT scan, celiac panel, HIDA scan, abdominal sonogram, esophagram and endoscopy. I think that's everything. Of course, that is excluding the multiple doctor and specialist visits I have had. Pretty much now I'm either sleeping on going to the doctor for an appointment or the hospital for tests.


• After a month of this, I am getting whiny (like you couldn't tell that) and grumpy.

Anyway, that's basically what's been going on. Sorry for those that have not gotten calls or emails returned. Most of the time I lose my breath so easily on the phone it is not comfy to talk and sitting up enough to type quickly causes me chest discomfort. Thank goodness for Xanax, though - the only reason I can type this blog right now and just be a little uncomfortable. Apparently it relaxes smooth muscle, which is what your GI track is so I'm thinking that maybe the hernia slides back down-ish to a more normal and comfortable position?

But enough of the health whine. GREAT hockey news! THE DUCKS HAVE WON THE STANLEY CUP! That's right, baby. Stanley cup! WOOOOO! I told Dan that they'd win the Western Conference in 6 games (and they did) and the Cup in 5 games (and they did)! So good job, boys! I was so happy, I cried. Yes, I admit it, I cried. Just a few tears - nothing like Teemu who had tears running down his cheeks while being interviewed. But then he's waited 15 years to hoist the cup. And you can bet that pictures will be posted of cuppy-goodness in the future.

GO DUCKS!

Oh, and one more thing before I go recline in a non-typing-friendly position. Harry Potter comes out next month (both movie 5 and book 7) so I've been surfing to see what news is out. I ran across some fanfic and one livejournal that takes the worst fanfic summaries and lists them for others to basically MST3K. It's really in the comments that it is hilarious. Some of them kill me. But it is long, so maybe best if you have nothing else to do besides sleep or watch horrible daytime TV (which I've been boycotting, it is so bad). Anyway, funny stuff. (Tracy, if you see this, I keep meaning to email it to you but yeah, that hasn't happened. I think you'd get a giggle out of it).

Now, I'm off to nap.